ONE week oF MY MUSIC being out

It’s been an exciting week releasing music for the first time. I’ve been watching the listen count tick over each day in the backend of Spotify, and puzzling over my top countries (the US leads over Australia and Brazil is coming in third). The algorithm seems to have pigeonholed me in with a crew of lovely husky-voiced younglings from the other side of the planet.

I was pumped up with adrenaline last week, on a high at having music out and thrilled that anyone was listening at all. It’s a week on now and the insecurities are kicking in. PR emails have been ignored. Radio plays have been messed up. The views on my reels and Tiktoks are plummeting. Is it possible that I am, in fact, talentless, old and embarrassing? Perhaps literally no one is going to come to my album launch…

These are evil thoughts, my collaborators tell me. There have been wins. My songs have been reviewed by multiple triple j staff, including Anika Luna, the host of Home & Hosed. I did get some radio plays, some even with the right songs. I was apparently added to a significant playlist on Apple Music (although I can’t verify this as my claim for my Apple artist account is still pending…)

Most importantly, individuals – including strangers – have told me directly that they love my music. That they are playing my songs on repeat. That they have been moved emotionally by my lyrics.

As anxious and unsteady as it gets, in this sense I have already achieved my goal.